How to Talk to Your Partner About Trying Sex Toys
I couldn’t help but wonder… why is it that we can discuss weekend plans, career goals, and even that awkward thing their mother said at dinner—but when it comes to bringing up sex toys, we freeze?
The truth is, talking to your partner about introducing sex toys into the bedroom can feel intimidating, but it doesn’t have to be. Whether you're looking to spice things up, enhance intimacy, or just explore something new, the key to success is open, honest, and judgment-free communication. Here’s how to get started.
Check Your Own Perspective First
Before bringing up the topic, ask yourself: How do I feel about sex toys? Are you nervous? Excited? Unsure? Understanding your own motivations will help you navigate the conversation with confidence and clarity.
Pick the Right Moment
Bringing up sex toys in the middle of the act (or worse, during a fight)? Not ideal. Instead, find a relaxed setting—whether it’s over wine, during pillow talk, or on a casual afternoon walk. The goal is to make sure both of you feel comfortable and open.
Frame It as Exploration, Not Replacement
One of the biggest misconceptions about sex toys is that they replace a partner. In reality, they enhance intimacy, not take away from it. Try saying:
“I love what we have, and I think it could be fun to explore new things together.”
“Sex toys aren’t about fixing anything—they’re about making something good even better.”
Start Small & Suggest Togetherness
If your partner is new to sex toys, ease them in with something non-intimidating and couple-friendly—like our Bean Mini Vibe, it's discreet and doesn't even look like a vibrator. You can even browse options together to make it a shared experience.
Acknowledge Any Hesitations
If your partner seems hesitant, hear them out without judgment. Concerns about performance, feeling “replaced,” or lack of experience are normal. Reassure them that this is about mutual pleasure, not comparison.
Keep It Light & Playful
Sex should be fun, and so should this conversation! Laugh about the awkwardness, keep an open mind, and treat it like an exciting adventure rather than a serious negotiation.
Make It an Experiment, Not a Commitment
If your partner is unsure, suggest trying it once with no pressure. Let them know that exploring doesn’t mean they have to love it—but they might just surprise themselves.
The Bottom Line
Bringing sex toys into the bedroom isn’t about replacing what you have—it’s about enhancing connection, deepening pleasure, and exploring new experiences together. The key is open communication, mutual curiosity, and a willingness to have fun.
So, what’s stopping you?
