Things We Thought Were Normal… But Weren’t

I couldn’t help but wonder... how many things have we accepted in bed simply because no one ever told us we deserved better?

Somewhere between the bad high school sex ed, the rom-coms that fade to black, and the men who think foreplay is optional, many of us grew up with a warped understanding of sex. We believed that if it didn’t hurt a little, we weren’t doing it right. That faking it was just something women did to keep things moving. That pleasure was a bonus, not a baseline.

We thought it was normal to say "I'm fine" when we weren't. Normal to let someone else's satisfaction come before our own. Normal to shrink ourselves in the bedroom the same way we were taught to shrink in boardrooms, dinner parties, and crowded subways.

But what if I told you none of that was normal?

What if I told you that normal is giving and receiving pleasure with ease, with curiosity, and without apology? That good sex doesn't have to end in orgasm but should always begin with consent? That your partner caring about your pleasure isn't a rare trait; It's a requirement.

We thought dry sex was normal. We thought pain was part of the package. We thought clitoral orgasms were a myth. We thought sex toys were taboo. We thought "just getting it over with" was standard.

And now? We're unlearning all of it.

We're lighting the candles, reclaiming our bodies, and asking the questions we should've been asking all along. We are no longer confusing performative moaning with passion. We are building sex drawers, not just for aesthetics, but for self-discovery. We're prioritizing connection with ourselves and with others.

So here’s to the things that never should’ve been normal. And to the pleasure-filled, self-honoring, wildly curious sex lives we’re building instead.